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Entry tags:
[FIC]: kinbaku
kinbaku, nc-17, g-dragon/top.
just do yourself well, please.
look for the words 'i'm sorry' somewhere else
what you want is just
something which can make you happy like the tongue in your mouth
i don't give a damn about
damn about damn about
don't wanna say any more
so speak to me
tell me everything frankly
put everything down someday
whatever you talk about
talk about talk about
i will never rate you
ga-in, "bad temper"
KINBAKU
g-dragon/top
Chaerin gives Seunghyun a coupon for his birthday -- a free how-to session for kinbaku rope bondage at a place in Gangnam. She thinks it's hilarious, makes some barely-veiled allusions to using his newfound knowledge on Jiyong in the sack (like he's going to discuss his sex life with her). Seunghyun tapes the coupon to the inside of his closet door and promptly forgets all about it, distracted by performances and promotions and the million other things he has to do besides learn about rope bondage on CL's dime.
But then Daesung has his accident, and Seunghyun has a lot of free time on his hands.
He tests the waters first -- holds Jiyong's hands down while they fuck, so Jiyong can't even squirm, let alone get free. Jiyong comes so hard he hits his head on the headboard, and it takes him a few minutes longer than usual to catch his breath. "Jesus, Seunghyun," Jiyong gasps when he finally can, stretching out languidly on top of the sheets. "Didn't even know I'd get off on that."
"Me, either," Seunghyun replies, which is true: He hadn't really expected it from Jiyong.
The thing is that Jiyong is a control freak in all aspects of his life -- Seunghyun had never bothered contemplating whether he'd be different in bed. He likes to top, he likes to ride Seunghyun -- he likes to be in control. None of that had ever, to Seunghyun, suggested someone who would get off on being pinned.
But apparently, Seunghyun had been wrong.
A week or so later he tries again, this time with one of Jiyong's ties discarded after a day of public appearances. He pulls Jiyong's arms behind his back and ties his wrists together, the silk slippery against his skin. "Shit, Seunghyun," Jiyong says, testing the bonds and finding them tight. "You get into bondage without telling me?"
"Maybe," Seunghyun mutters.
Jiyong lets Seunghyun press his face into the pillow, and Seunghyun fucks him until Jiyong is muffling obscene moans and arching his back. Seunghyun watches his fingers flex, watches his wrists pulling unsuccessfully against the restraints, and thinks that maybe CL had been right on the money after all.
Afterwards, Jiyong is abnormally cuddly, dropping his head on Seunghyun's chest and staying close. Seunghyun runs his fingers through Jiyong's hair in an absent gesture of comfort, feels the residual trembling subside from Jiyong's body. "You okay?" he asks, pressing his fingertips against the back of Jiyong's neck.
"Me? Sure," Jiyong says, propping himself up on an elbow and looking down at Seunghyun. Despite the way his mouth is red from biting and his liner is smeared around his eyes, there's something in Jiyong's expression that suggests -- amazement? Wonder? Curiosity? Seunghyun's not quite sure. "You just keep surprising me. Never really thought you'd turn out to be the kinky type."
He grins, and Seunghyun blushes. He shakes his head and covers his eyes for a second. "Yeah, me either," he admits, and when Jiyong laughs he can't help but smile.
The good thing about the place CL had picked is that it has a strict confidentiality policy. That, and the fact that when he's in there, Seunghyun isn't TOP of Big Bang -- he's just a person who's there to learn. The teacher doesn't care that he's an idol, as long as Seunghyun pays attention. It's a setup that Seunghyun can definitely appreciate.
"Kinbaku is the meeting of aesthetics and control," the instructor tells him. "It isn't about sex -- not entirely. It's about trust. The person that you're binding has to trust you completely."
"What if they don't?" Seunghyun asks. Just for the sake of knowing.
"Then you have no right to be tying them up."
The instructor, a man who seems to be only a little older than Seunghyun himself, takes Seunghyun through the basics of BDSM -- consent, safe words, safety practices. It's more than Seunghyun thought he'd signed up for, but he's glad for it, because most of the things he learns are thinsg he definitely wouldn't have known otherwise. The last thing he wants is to see Jiyong hurt.
He learns a few simple knots, and then the instructor strips off his shirt. "Try what you just learned," he says. Seunghyun can feel his eyes go wide. "You won't be immobilizing me. You just need to know how the rope works against real human flesh."
So Seunghyun tries it out, finds it easier than he'd expected. "Not bad," the instructor says, deftly undoing the knots and handing the rope back. "Now, I'm going to teach you one particular pattern -- it'll take quite a few more sessions until you're ready to learn anything more complicated."
"Simple is good," Seunghyun says. He and Jiyong aren't really that flashy, not when they're off-camera. "I like simple."
The instructor shakes his head, suppressing a smile. "Then this will be perfect."
The pattern that Seunghyun ends up learning is a fairly simple double column bind -- relatively uncomfortable and not particularly dangerous, acccording to the instructor. Seunghyun likes that -- the idea of hurting Jiyong beyond their usual roughness isn't one he wants to entertain for long.
"Can I ask a favor?" he says, when he's run through the pattern three times and the instructor has decided that he's learned it well.
"All right."
"Do that -- the double column bind, do it to me."
The instructor looks at him, head tilted inquisitively. "Any particular reason?" he asks.
Seunghyun shrugs, sheepish. "I guess I just -- if I'm gonna be tying somebody else up like this I want to know how it feels. So I know what they're feeling."
The instructor nods slowly, then retrieves the rope from where he'd been putting it away for storage. "Very well," he agrees. "Take off your shirt."
That night, Seunghyun goes home and finds Jiyong in his room, singing under his breath as he scribbles lyrics onto a page. "Hey, leader," he says, leaning against the doorframe.
Jiyong looks up. "Hey. Have fun -- whatever you were doing?"
"Yeah." Seunghyun sticks one hand in his pocket -- he has a length of rope there, bought from the same place he'd gone to learn. "Jiyong. Do you trust me?"
The question seems to take Jiyong by surprise, but there's no hesitation when he says, "Of course."
Seunghyun pulls the rope out of his pocket and holds it up so Jiyong can see it. "Enough for this?" he asks, and he can pinpoint the exact moment when Jiyong realizes what he's asking -- his eyes go a little wide, and he looks like he wants to say something but doesn't know the words. "If not -- it's fine. Just, you know, Chaerin-ah gave me a coupon for my birthday so I went and learned -- I mean, it's not a big deal."
Jiyong puts his pen down and moves behind Seunghyun to close the door. Seunghyun can't decide if this is a good thing or a bad one -- it could mean that Jiyong is about to tear him a new one for the very suggestion -- until Jiyong hauls him down by the collar of his jacket and kisses him hard.
"Obviously enough for this," Jiyong says when he pulls away. "How many years have we known each other, Seunghyun? I know you're not gonna hurt me."
That kind of trust is like a suckerpunch, and Seunghyun kisses him again, pushing him up against the door in a rare show of the kind of aggression only Jiyong ever sees from him. "I won't," he promises. "Hurt you."
"Then let's get started," Jiyong says.
They sit naked on the bed, and Seunghyun ties Jiyong's arms in front of him, attaching his wrists to one of the posts of the headboard -- as tight as he feels comfortable with, even though Jiyong keeps saying he's fine. "It doesn't hurt now, but you're gonna have rope burns if I tie it any tighter," he finally says, after the fifth time Jiyong's encouraged him to tighten the bindings.
"How do you know?"
Seunghyun holds out one wrist, where the skin over the knob of bone at the side is chafed. "Because I just had it done to me, that's why."
Jiyong's eyes go dark, not with anger but with lust. "You let someone tie you up?" he asks. The raw want in his tone makes Seunghyun shiver. "Shit, Seunghyun."
"I figured it'd be good for me to know what I'd be doing to you."
The expression on Jiyong's face softens into something affectionate. "You're so good to me," he says, and then waits until Seunghyun's tied off the last knot to twist around and kiss him on the mouth.
Jiyong makes a beautiful picture like this, naked except for the rope crisscrossing his wrists, making its way up his arms. Well, Jiyong is beautiful most times, in most states of dress (or undress), but this -- this is something Seunghyun's never even come close to imagining.
When Seunghyun fucks Jiyong, with Jiyong's back bowed and the rope standing out against his skin, Seunghyun suddenly realizes exactly what his instructor meant by it's not about sex. The sex is good -- the sex is always good -- but what's better is knowing that Jiyong trusts him enough to let Seunghyun put him in this position. What's better is knowing that Jiyong trusts him enough to submit to him, and that Seunghyun trusts Jiyong enough to know that Jiyong will stop him if it gets to be too much. It's not about the sex, really, it's about the mutual trust and exchange of power and control.
Seunghyun could get into that, maybe.
Jiyong's tied tightly enough that he can't move -- all he can do is gasp nonsense, pressing his hips back against Seunghyun's, fingers flexing against the headboard. The hottest thing in the world is Jiyong when he forgets to be G-Dragon, when he gives in and lets himself feel instead of trying to control everything all the time.
"Seunghyun," Jiyong gasps, "please, fuck, don't do this to me--" and that's how Seunghyun realizes that he's slowed down, his thoughts taking his mind away from the task at hand.
So he fucks Jiyong until Jiyong comes in a rush of obscenities and Seunghyun's, fucks him straight through the aftershocks until Jiyong is writhing, oversensitive, his body too stimulated. And then Seunghyun comes, his fingers so tight on Jiyong's hips that they might bruise -- Jiyong will probably be pissed about that, later.
He pulls out and discards the condom, then scoots up to the headboard so he can release Jiyong from his restraints. "Seunghyun," Jiyong murmurs, lifting his head to give Seunghyun a lazy, loose smile. "Damn."
Seunghyun laughs and unwinds the rope, then pulls Jiyong into his lap so he can help massage blood flow back into his limbs. He's not sure he tied the ropes tight enough to cut off circulation, but either way, there's bound to be some soreness -- plus, he likes the way Jiyong leans against him, his head cradled against the curve of Seunghyun's shoulder. "Feeling okay?" he asks, thumbs working against the flesh of Jiyong's forearm.
"Better'n okay." Jiyong tilts his head so Seunghyun can see him grin from the corner of his eye. "Great. Fantastic. Fuckin' incredible. I'm gonna have to thank Chaerinnie big time next time I see her."
"She probably heard you moaning from her dorm," Seunghyun says, trying to keep a straight face.
"Next time they'll near me at JYP's building," Jiyong says, flexing his fingers. "Hey, Seunghyun."
"Yeah?"
"Let's do this again sometime."
Seunghyun laughs. "Yeah, I could deal with that."
--------------------
AUTHOR'S NOTES: I'm sorry if I got stuff wrong, I don't have firsthand experience in kinbaku orz ;; please correct me! And as always concrit is welcome!
just do yourself well, please.
look for the words 'i'm sorry' somewhere else
what you want is just
something which can make you happy like the tongue in your mouth
i don't give a damn about
damn about damn about
don't wanna say any more
so speak to me
tell me everything frankly
put everything down someday
whatever you talk about
talk about talk about
i will never rate you
ga-in, "bad temper"
KINBAKU
g-dragon/top
Chaerin gives Seunghyun a coupon for his birthday -- a free how-to session for kinbaku rope bondage at a place in Gangnam. She thinks it's hilarious, makes some barely-veiled allusions to using his newfound knowledge on Jiyong in the sack (like he's going to discuss his sex life with her). Seunghyun tapes the coupon to the inside of his closet door and promptly forgets all about it, distracted by performances and promotions and the million other things he has to do besides learn about rope bondage on CL's dime.
But then Daesung has his accident, and Seunghyun has a lot of free time on his hands.
He tests the waters first -- holds Jiyong's hands down while they fuck, so Jiyong can't even squirm, let alone get free. Jiyong comes so hard he hits his head on the headboard, and it takes him a few minutes longer than usual to catch his breath. "Jesus, Seunghyun," Jiyong gasps when he finally can, stretching out languidly on top of the sheets. "Didn't even know I'd get off on that."
"Me, either," Seunghyun replies, which is true: He hadn't really expected it from Jiyong.
The thing is that Jiyong is a control freak in all aspects of his life -- Seunghyun had never bothered contemplating whether he'd be different in bed. He likes to top, he likes to ride Seunghyun -- he likes to be in control. None of that had ever, to Seunghyun, suggested someone who would get off on being pinned.
But apparently, Seunghyun had been wrong.
A week or so later he tries again, this time with one of Jiyong's ties discarded after a day of public appearances. He pulls Jiyong's arms behind his back and ties his wrists together, the silk slippery against his skin. "Shit, Seunghyun," Jiyong says, testing the bonds and finding them tight. "You get into bondage without telling me?"
"Maybe," Seunghyun mutters.
Jiyong lets Seunghyun press his face into the pillow, and Seunghyun fucks him until Jiyong is muffling obscene moans and arching his back. Seunghyun watches his fingers flex, watches his wrists pulling unsuccessfully against the restraints, and thinks that maybe CL had been right on the money after all.
Afterwards, Jiyong is abnormally cuddly, dropping his head on Seunghyun's chest and staying close. Seunghyun runs his fingers through Jiyong's hair in an absent gesture of comfort, feels the residual trembling subside from Jiyong's body. "You okay?" he asks, pressing his fingertips against the back of Jiyong's neck.
"Me? Sure," Jiyong says, propping himself up on an elbow and looking down at Seunghyun. Despite the way his mouth is red from biting and his liner is smeared around his eyes, there's something in Jiyong's expression that suggests -- amazement? Wonder? Curiosity? Seunghyun's not quite sure. "You just keep surprising me. Never really thought you'd turn out to be the kinky type."
He grins, and Seunghyun blushes. He shakes his head and covers his eyes for a second. "Yeah, me either," he admits, and when Jiyong laughs he can't help but smile.
The good thing about the place CL had picked is that it has a strict confidentiality policy. That, and the fact that when he's in there, Seunghyun isn't TOP of Big Bang -- he's just a person who's there to learn. The teacher doesn't care that he's an idol, as long as Seunghyun pays attention. It's a setup that Seunghyun can definitely appreciate.
"Kinbaku is the meeting of aesthetics and control," the instructor tells him. "It isn't about sex -- not entirely. It's about trust. The person that you're binding has to trust you completely."
"What if they don't?" Seunghyun asks. Just for the sake of knowing.
"Then you have no right to be tying them up."
The instructor, a man who seems to be only a little older than Seunghyun himself, takes Seunghyun through the basics of BDSM -- consent, safe words, safety practices. It's more than Seunghyun thought he'd signed up for, but he's glad for it, because most of the things he learns are thinsg he definitely wouldn't have known otherwise. The last thing he wants is to see Jiyong hurt.
He learns a few simple knots, and then the instructor strips off his shirt. "Try what you just learned," he says. Seunghyun can feel his eyes go wide. "You won't be immobilizing me. You just need to know how the rope works against real human flesh."
So Seunghyun tries it out, finds it easier than he'd expected. "Not bad," the instructor says, deftly undoing the knots and handing the rope back. "Now, I'm going to teach you one particular pattern -- it'll take quite a few more sessions until you're ready to learn anything more complicated."
"Simple is good," Seunghyun says. He and Jiyong aren't really that flashy, not when they're off-camera. "I like simple."
The instructor shakes his head, suppressing a smile. "Then this will be perfect."
The pattern that Seunghyun ends up learning is a fairly simple double column bind -- relatively uncomfortable and not particularly dangerous, acccording to the instructor. Seunghyun likes that -- the idea of hurting Jiyong beyond their usual roughness isn't one he wants to entertain for long.
"Can I ask a favor?" he says, when he's run through the pattern three times and the instructor has decided that he's learned it well.
"All right."
"Do that -- the double column bind, do it to me."
The instructor looks at him, head tilted inquisitively. "Any particular reason?" he asks.
Seunghyun shrugs, sheepish. "I guess I just -- if I'm gonna be tying somebody else up like this I want to know how it feels. So I know what they're feeling."
The instructor nods slowly, then retrieves the rope from where he'd been putting it away for storage. "Very well," he agrees. "Take off your shirt."
That night, Seunghyun goes home and finds Jiyong in his room, singing under his breath as he scribbles lyrics onto a page. "Hey, leader," he says, leaning against the doorframe.
Jiyong looks up. "Hey. Have fun -- whatever you were doing?"
"Yeah." Seunghyun sticks one hand in his pocket -- he has a length of rope there, bought from the same place he'd gone to learn. "Jiyong. Do you trust me?"
The question seems to take Jiyong by surprise, but there's no hesitation when he says, "Of course."
Seunghyun pulls the rope out of his pocket and holds it up so Jiyong can see it. "Enough for this?" he asks, and he can pinpoint the exact moment when Jiyong realizes what he's asking -- his eyes go a little wide, and he looks like he wants to say something but doesn't know the words. "If not -- it's fine. Just, you know, Chaerin-ah gave me a coupon for my birthday so I went and learned -- I mean, it's not a big deal."
Jiyong puts his pen down and moves behind Seunghyun to close the door. Seunghyun can't decide if this is a good thing or a bad one -- it could mean that Jiyong is about to tear him a new one for the very suggestion -- until Jiyong hauls him down by the collar of his jacket and kisses him hard.
"Obviously enough for this," Jiyong says when he pulls away. "How many years have we known each other, Seunghyun? I know you're not gonna hurt me."
That kind of trust is like a suckerpunch, and Seunghyun kisses him again, pushing him up against the door in a rare show of the kind of aggression only Jiyong ever sees from him. "I won't," he promises. "Hurt you."
"Then let's get started," Jiyong says.
They sit naked on the bed, and Seunghyun ties Jiyong's arms in front of him, attaching his wrists to one of the posts of the headboard -- as tight as he feels comfortable with, even though Jiyong keeps saying he's fine. "It doesn't hurt now, but you're gonna have rope burns if I tie it any tighter," he finally says, after the fifth time Jiyong's encouraged him to tighten the bindings.
"How do you know?"
Seunghyun holds out one wrist, where the skin over the knob of bone at the side is chafed. "Because I just had it done to me, that's why."
Jiyong's eyes go dark, not with anger but with lust. "You let someone tie you up?" he asks. The raw want in his tone makes Seunghyun shiver. "Shit, Seunghyun."
"I figured it'd be good for me to know what I'd be doing to you."
The expression on Jiyong's face softens into something affectionate. "You're so good to me," he says, and then waits until Seunghyun's tied off the last knot to twist around and kiss him on the mouth.
Jiyong makes a beautiful picture like this, naked except for the rope crisscrossing his wrists, making its way up his arms. Well, Jiyong is beautiful most times, in most states of dress (or undress), but this -- this is something Seunghyun's never even come close to imagining.
When Seunghyun fucks Jiyong, with Jiyong's back bowed and the rope standing out against his skin, Seunghyun suddenly realizes exactly what his instructor meant by it's not about sex. The sex is good -- the sex is always good -- but what's better is knowing that Jiyong trusts him enough to let Seunghyun put him in this position. What's better is knowing that Jiyong trusts him enough to submit to him, and that Seunghyun trusts Jiyong enough to know that Jiyong will stop him if it gets to be too much. It's not about the sex, really, it's about the mutual trust and exchange of power and control.
Seunghyun could get into that, maybe.
Jiyong's tied tightly enough that he can't move -- all he can do is gasp nonsense, pressing his hips back against Seunghyun's, fingers flexing against the headboard. The hottest thing in the world is Jiyong when he forgets to be G-Dragon, when he gives in and lets himself feel instead of trying to control everything all the time.
"Seunghyun," Jiyong gasps, "please, fuck, don't do this to me--" and that's how Seunghyun realizes that he's slowed down, his thoughts taking his mind away from the task at hand.
So he fucks Jiyong until Jiyong comes in a rush of obscenities and Seunghyun's, fucks him straight through the aftershocks until Jiyong is writhing, oversensitive, his body too stimulated. And then Seunghyun comes, his fingers so tight on Jiyong's hips that they might bruise -- Jiyong will probably be pissed about that, later.
He pulls out and discards the condom, then scoots up to the headboard so he can release Jiyong from his restraints. "Seunghyun," Jiyong murmurs, lifting his head to give Seunghyun a lazy, loose smile. "Damn."
Seunghyun laughs and unwinds the rope, then pulls Jiyong into his lap so he can help massage blood flow back into his limbs. He's not sure he tied the ropes tight enough to cut off circulation, but either way, there's bound to be some soreness -- plus, he likes the way Jiyong leans against him, his head cradled against the curve of Seunghyun's shoulder. "Feeling okay?" he asks, thumbs working against the flesh of Jiyong's forearm.
"Better'n okay." Jiyong tilts his head so Seunghyun can see him grin from the corner of his eye. "Great. Fantastic. Fuckin' incredible. I'm gonna have to thank Chaerinnie big time next time I see her."
"She probably heard you moaning from her dorm," Seunghyun says, trying to keep a straight face.
"Next time they'll near me at JYP's building," Jiyong says, flexing his fingers. "Hey, Seunghyun."
"Yeah?"
"Let's do this again sometime."
Seunghyun laughs. "Yeah, I could deal with that."
--------------------
AUTHOR'S NOTES: I'm sorry if I got stuff wrong, I don't have firsthand experience in kinbaku orz ;; please correct me! And as always concrit is welcome!